Friday 4-23-10 A

Well here goes kids. We drove down to Indy at 7am this morning and neither one of us were in too good a mood. I have not been feeling well for the last few days and had a tough time during this last chemo session. I'm really not sure what is going to happen. Since I was not feeling well, I figured the Sarcoma's had increased, or the size has grown, and the chemo is not working like it should.

When we first see the Dr., he comes in with the same greeting: How's my survivor? He's a great guy and I love his attitude, so I respond in a very positive way and said I was OK today, but that I was not well during the chemo at all. We then went over some of the real bad times when I was in the Hospital and all, and he assured me that I was strong and very healthy for having this cancer. My blood work was doing exactly as it was to do, and that my BP was 130/70, and I had to be feeling some anxiety today. My pulse was 81 and my temp was 99. Weigh was 10lbs less than the last visit. They don't want you to loose a bunch of weight, but since I have it to loose, they done mind the loss.

After we talked for about an hour he then examined me and and said he would be gone for a while to look at the CT Scan results. When he came back it was just like no big deal, everything is just the same as the last time. You still have 5 sarcoma's in your lungs and they are the same size as last time. It was then that we started to discuss what exactly did that mean. He then explained how what he tries to do is to find the correct combination of chemo medicines that will stop the growth of any new sarcoma's, and to keep the one's that do exist, in the same form and size. As he then explained to me again, I do have sarcoma's on my lungs, and that is the worst place to have them. However since he has been able to determine the correct formulation to stop any further growth, it means that he has not cured a sarcoma, but he has stoped any further spread. It is now possible to remove the one's that are there, and we should not have any further sarcoma's for the foreseeable future. They will never say that you are cured, because like he said, we have successfully killed every kind of cancer cell in a test tube. However you body is not a test tube and we don't know how you get this cancer and how to cure it. We can do what we can do and hope they never come back. Does that always work? No, but it feels pretty damn good from where I sit. If I can come back on this blog after my surgery and tell everyone, I have no detectable cancers in my body, I will be as cured as I can get. Then it's just a matter of time as to how long that lasts. I'm telling you now, it sure feels good now. I'm back on the positive track again. I fell off this past couple weeks. Oh yea of little faith. I have to keep positive, I know that, that's why I didn't write in this for about a week or so.

I do have some interesting things to share that did happen the past week or so and will share those thoughts in the next few blogs. Thanks for all the prayers and support. It means so much to me. Tom