Tuesday 5-25-10

Forgive me to those that try to read this every day. I just don't like to write when I'm not feeling well. I'm so excited about having my last chemo and then being able to go to Carlsbad, I can't wait. I hate the effects of chemo believe me, but it's like many things in life, you just got to get through them. As Sharon keeps telling me, at least your not in the hospital. There is a lot to be said for that. As the doctors have told me, my hemoglobin is so low that I can't have any energy. The chemo lowers my immune system, so I get this damn cough back each time. It's easier to just sit on the couch and let the time go by than to try and fight it.

Today is much better, my BP is 130/70 but my HR is still way to high at 115. My BS is 134 and I think I've got a handle on it. I say that, but last night when Sharon came home, we were both hungry for some sweet stuff and she went to Zesto's. I agree with Cate who says: there is just no substitute for that stuff. I just had a medium in a cup, but I did put a shot of chocolate on the top. I don't know why I do that, because I really don't like the way it tastes while I'm having chemo. If anyone doesn't believe the fact that we eat with our brain, I've got some good evidence to the contrary. I see something that I know that I used to like, and I eat it even if it doesn't taste the way I want it too. Am I the only one that does that??? Come on Maura and Cate, give me some feed back. You too Moe, even you Larry. I know all you guy love the sweets now and again. Will you eat it if it looks good?? Anyone!!

So enough about food. Now I want to talk about getting back into shape. Believe it or not, I get tired cleaning the bathroom. I decided today to clean my sink and toilet. By the time I cleared the sink of all the junk that has accumulated over the past few months, and cleaning the toilet, I had to sit on the toilet for about five minutes and recover. That's how bad I am at this point. I want to go to the gym, but since my HR is already at 115, I'm afraid to take it much higher. The reason I agreed to go to Carlsbad is that we have a great gym and I can start to walk on the sidewalk that faces the ocean. I remember when I had the back operation and I couldn't even remember how to walk. I started to walk down 3rd ave. and get to Callaways. Then I tried to get to the second block and so on. Hell I was young then, I sure hope I will have the guts to do it at 67. It will take lots of prayers guys, because I've become some what of a lazy guy these past few months.

What I do know for sure is that I have to do it so I will be strong when I have my operation. I still have the fishing trip to Cabo planned for October, and that is the kind of thing I have to set as a goal for the rest of my life. One step in front of the other and keep on keeping on. I also want to take a boat and go up the Sea of Cortez sometime this year. I'm going to need a lot of money, so I sure as heck hope the Manor House get full soon. We are now at 42 and counting. Just 10 more and we are full. We hope to get some more money and go for 24 more rooms. Again that's the kind of goal I need to keep on keeping on. I really can't do a whole lot anymore with the construction side, but I do know how to make sure the others work their asses off. I can also keep Louis focused on the task at hand. He has so many projects going, I'm the one that has to keep him headed in the direction that will help me and my family. It's all about me you know. I think I've said that before. Well it's still the same!!

I do want to thank all of you that read this blog., it keeps me going, knowing I have to write this each day. I also want to thank Sharon, Brian and Louis and Mary and Anna, for all they do each day to make the Manor and Essen Houses going. They have kept it going when many have said it will never make it. Thank God for all those that work for us and keep that place going so well.

More tomorrow. Tom