Wed Jan 20th 1010

I didn't get much sleep last night, but I did watch the TV to see that Mr Brown won his seat in the Senate. I'm blessed about that so I was not one of the first to suffer under Mr Obama's health care system. Fortunately for my family, Sharon retired from a great job with the California State Lottery and we have excellent coverage, however we would have been on the hook for a new tax on our plan. She was not in a union. I also don't want to face the possibility down the road of being told I'm not worth keeping on the earth. I know what I have is very dangerous and could kill me, but I'm willing to go as far as I can to save my life. I don't want some person in a Washington suite telling them to stop the treatments, it's just to rare to know if he will live or not.

Boy was that morbid or what.

Now to you who want to know what I will be taking and what it will do to me. Talk about morbid!!! The first day, I will receive Gemzar. this is a Chemo agent given as a clear solution in the vein over 90 minutes. Side effects are generally tolerated. Side effects: The Chemo affects healthy and diseased cells. Healthy cells affected include the white and red blood cells and platelets. A decrease in white cells increases susceptibility to infection. Decrease in red blood cells contributes to fatigue and shortness of breath. Decrease in platelets increases potential for bruising and bleeding. these side effects are temporary. Hair loss: Minimal temporary thinning of the hair may be noticed. So what they are saying is, I'll have an infection, but I'll probably be sleeping through it, if I have my sleep apenia machine on for the shortness of breath. Sound like fun time to me. Any takers???

So I will get this on the first day of the treatment. I will then go back 8 days later and receive this again plus Taxotere. This Chemo agent drug is infused intravenously through a vein or a central line, which is what I have, it's also called a port. It takes about 60 minutes to administer.

Side effects: The same side effects as the other drug, but it will actually make the side effects more evident. But the two together and I will not be doing much for the first couple of days after the IV's. Fluid retention is common after a few treatments, so you get to take Dexamethasone prior to your treatments. Hair Loss; IT MAY ACCRUE!! RIGHT!! Muscle pain: you may experience muscle and joint aches for a few days following each infusion. The last time I had that it was as bad as anything I had had before and I had a bad back for 13 years. It does say that you might ask your physician for something to control the discomfort.
Nail Changes: Color changes in your finger and toe nails and they might become soft and tender. Yea, the last time I lost the nail of my big toe and it took forever for it to heal. Numbness, Tingling of Hands/Feet: These will probably go away a few months after your treatments.

Well there it is kids. More fun and game for the next two or three months. It will depend on how the Chemo is working as to how many treatments I will receive. The last time I was to receive 4 cycles, but the Sarcoma had grown to fast and the Chemo was not stopping it from growing, so they decided to take it much faster than they had planned. We'll have to see what happens this time.

I've given it much thought through the night and have decided that no one gets out of hear alive. We never know when we will be called back to the Good Lord. I remember ln grade schoole being told that if I made all the first Fridays for a year that someone would be near me when I died to give me the last sacraments. I've always tried to remember if I made it for an entire year or did I stop after the 9 months of school. I remember this one year going on my bike to St. Rose for at least two months, I can't remember if I got that third one. Well if it comes down to the fact that this will someday take me, I now know that I will have that gift of the last rights that I worried about as a child. We are all here for a very short time when you consider eternity. I just hope I've done all I can do.

Lets win this thing together. I have the World expert on Sarcomas working for me and there is a reason I don't live in beautiful Southern California any more. This must be why I'm hear, to beat this damn thing once and for all.
I'll keep you posted.
Tom