9-23-09 Wed

I want to take this time to explain to you, what was explained to me yesterday, by two of the brightest most intelligent men I have ever met. I first went to see Dr. Cummings. He is a man about 45 to 50 who is a Orthopaedic Oncologist Surgeon. How the hell long would it take to get three different specialties. He is as down to earth as you can get. He is friendly and will sit and talk to you until you understand everything he is going to do, and what the risks are, in what he is going to do.

He told me yesterday that I had one of the largest tumors of it kind that he has ever seen in a man's arm. He also told me why he had to take so much of my bicep. What he needed to do was to take as much bicep as he could see that had been touched by the tumor. He needed to make sure that none of the tumor was left behind, because that is the cancer. If you let the smallest piece behind, you have not solve the problem, you have hidden the next problem. This kind of cancer is unique in the fact that if it is to come back, it comes back in the same spot that it once was. It doesn't take much explaining to figure out why that may happen. If you let a small piece behind, it just might grow into another tumor.

This all made a great deal of sense to me, and answered any question I had as to why so much of my bicep was taken. He also explained why it looked like it did. He was forced to take much of the skin that was on the side where the tumor was. He had to take the skin from under my bicep and pull it to meet the skin that had not been touched by the tumor. It doesn't show very well, but if you look at my scar you can see the large dent in my arm and how the skin has been pulled together.

After talking to him and getting a very good prognosis from him, I had one more appointment to keep. That was with the number one doctor in the country on soft tissue sarcomas. Actually I found out yesterday he is an expert in all sarcomas. His name is Dr. Rushing from the IU Cancer Center. Lance Armstrong says, in a plaque on the wall, the best Cancer Center in the World.

Dr. Rushing is a man of my age plus or minus a year or so. He has spent his career studying sarcomas. He loves to explain how they differ from all the other cancers there are. First of all, they are the rarest of all the cancers. The only study that has ever been done on them was 20 years ago and it only covered 1450 cases of every different kind of sarcomas. As he said, there are over 100 different kinds of sarcomas, and they grouped them all in the study. What they were able to conclude was almost nothing because of so few subjects had the same sarcomas. There are also 12 different kinds of chemo compounds that were used in the experiment. There findings as to the best use of chemo where as follows. It seems to work best on Men who are between 30 and 60. Men as apposed to women, Soft tissue in a limb. High grade as to low. Healthy as apposed to sickly, good positive mental attitude. As he told me I had all but the 30 to 60 but that I was close enough to the 60 not to matter too much.

That was the only real thing that had been studied about sarcomas. He has spent the last 20 years trying to add to that base of knowledge. He then explained how the high grade sarcoma is actually better in some ways than the low. It is more difficult for the high grade to spread because it does not stay in a small state long enough to spread into the blood stream. It's not to say it can't, but it is more difficult. The place that it can spread from the arm is to the lungs. At he told me in the beginning, you don't want it in your lungs.

We had the radiation doctor, Dr Chang tell us that what he did with the chemo was very controversial. What Dr. Rushing said about Dr. Chang is that he is like most Dr's that don't understand about high grade soft tissue sarcomas, they don't even know what they don't know. Of course Dr. Change thinks that radiation is the only way to treat a sarcoma. He is half right, as Dr. Rushing says. The chemo is to kill any microscopic sarcoma that might have spread into the lungs as this cancer first grew. Once it started to grow the chances of it spreading are diminished, but you do the chemo for insurance sake. As he told me, the sarcoma in the arm will not kill you. That can't be said about your lungs or any vital organ.

That is the reason for the chemo. Now the reason I didn't go the entire way on the chemo was the fact that it was growing to fast, and starting to hurt the arm itself. He did not want it to wrap around any nerves or arteries, so it was best to take it when they did. If it did wrap around the nerves and arteries, they would have to take the entire arm.

As I told you yesterday, I had a CT Scan last Tuesday to see if I had any cancer that was detected in my lungs. The answer to that question is a resounding NO!!!!!!! Both doctors congratulated me on the fact that, at this time, there is no detectable cancer in my body. I'm clean and cancer free. I was so relieved, Sharon just looked at me and said, "I knew that all along." I knew since the first CT Scan that you were clear. I love her attitude, she is my strength, and for the past month she has had a pinched nerve in her back and has done nothing about it because she has been so busy. Thank God today she had her own MRI. We head for California tomorrow, but next week she is going to have it looked into. She is my age, and takes no pills of an kind not even aspirin. She has not seen a doctor since she broke both wrists three years ago. I'm sure she will breeze through this also.

Well that's it kids, I started this to keep track of what it would be like to fight cancer. I sure as hell found that out. For this part, and time in my life, I have won my battle with cancer. I hope never to have to do it again. I hope none of you ever have to face it either. It ain't fun, but it can be beat. Prayer and the best doctors you can find is the best way I know to beat it. Thank to all who have stuck by me and kept me going. Especially my entire family. I always knew you loved me, I just didn't know how much, and what you would do in my time of need. I love each and every one of you more than you will ever know. Even you Margo. Speaking of Margo, she told me I should put picture of what I look like now on the blog. so here they.

This ends the BLOG for good, I HOPE!

Thanks to all for caring.

Tom

9-21-09 MONDAY MAURA'S BIRTHDAY

It is now 9:20am and I have already had my radiation treatment, and worked out at the gym for 45 minutes. I'm so happy to be the first person to get radiation. They can no longer have any excuse as to how long someone took to have their treatment. The doctor can't be busy with someone else. It was great, I got there and found them eating McDonald's. There was then a quick call and all of a sudden they were ready for Mr. McLaughlin. When I got there the cast was actually on the machine and in the correct position. It was my friend Tony, who was the man that was with me the first week and really knew what he was doing.. Of course that's not to say that there are those that don't know what they are doing. I would never be that judgemental.

He did a few minor adjustments and presto the x-rays started to happen. I was in at 7:40 on the nose and in my car and ready to cleave at 7:55. I also met Diana, a lady that eats at the Essen House almost every day, and we have become friends because she would have chemo with me and now she too is going through radiation. I've meet quite a few people during this adventure. One was Cate's 5th grade teacher. I was overhearing a discussion as I came in one day and herd her say she taught at St. Charles and I said I had two that went to St. Charles. She did not know Thomas, but she did have Cate and said she was such a nice young lady. She then had me tell her all about how she has been since leaving 5th grade. She is one of the fortunate people that caught breast cancer early and only has to have a lumpectomy and radiation to cure her cancer. She is doing just great.

I will know tomorrow how I am doing. I see Cummings the Surgeon at 12 noon and rushing at 2pm. I will see what the CT Scan shows of my lungs. If all is clear, I should be in great shape and only have three more weeks of radiation before it is all over. I will still have to go for quarterly check ups, but no more treatments. If all is well tomorrow, I will probably not do much more on the blog. As you all know, it was for the cure of the cancer that I started this crazy thing. Not a diary on Tom and family. I love that you all were so kind as to follow my journey, but hopefully it is over for now. If all our prayers come true, I should be good to go tomorrow.

Thanks again. I'll let you know tomorrow.
Tom

9-19-09 Saturday

Well the second week of radiation is over and I want to highlight the week. Now that I've finished that. No not really. These people are very nice but very different at the same time. They have a large number of tecks that do the set up of the machine and me on the machine. My first week I had the same people most of the time. However this past week was quite different. They had the second machine break down last Friday and were not able to get the machine fixed until Thursday late. That meant that everyone had to switched to the one machine. That also meant that us Ginny pigs got to deal with people we had never seen before.

Every time I come in thay have to find the cast that fits me. The first week they were the one's that made the cast, so they knew what it looked like or at least where they put it. This week not so much. I would normally have at least one person that I had at least seen before in the x-ray room with me. However the past two day's none of us knew each other. It would take a few minutes for them to find my cast and then the fun began. They have to put it on the machine just right so that when I lay down I'm under the x-ray part just right. The entire machine can move in almost any direction so there I am laying down and them playing with this machine like a video machine. That is exactly what it feels like. Having been through this now 10 time, I've got a pretty good idea as to what it should look and feel like when they have it lined up correctly. However they don't want to hear any of my suggestions an more. The first week it took about 20 minutes for the entire procedure once I got back in the room. The last few days it has taken some what longer. Now the kicker yesterday was, I'm asleep on the couch when the telephone rings and a voice says "Mr. McLaughlin, are you coming for your treatment today?" I look at my watch to see that it is 4:10pm. I sheepishly asked if I could come right over, she wanted to know how far away I lived. I said I could make it in 10 minutes. She then said OK, come right over. I got there at about 4:25 and there was no one in the lobby so I headed back to the waiting room for radiation. No one there either, I then walked back to the x-ray room. It too was empty. So I figured they decided it was too late and they left. As I started to leave I hear this soft voice saying, "Mr McLaughlin?", I said yes, I'm Darleen and I will do your treatment if you are ready. So I walked back into the x-ray room with her and started to take off my shirt and get ready for the treatment. About that time another person who I didn't know came in and introduced herself and said she would be helping, she was an intern. That brought back memories of my surgery and all the good things that happened during my stay in Indy.

It got funnier from there. They couldn't find my cast to save their their soul. I finally ask if they wanted my help, they said they did. I had remembered watching the one nurse put it away once and went over and grabbed it, sure enough it was mine. The intern asked how I knew that was mine. I told her I was a Psyche. She just looked at me and said OH.

Now I had to show them where to place the cast on the table because they have only certain areas where it can be x-rayed. I now lay down on the table and they start trying to line up the machine. When you lay there you can tell when the machine is in the correct position because they have pictures on the ceiling of leaves and trees and things. The only problem is that I can't move once they have laid me down and they can't hear me anyway because they are in the other room. I just have to lay there until they get the lazer beams lined up correctly and start the procedure. After all that I did get out at about 5:15 and I did thank them for waiting after hours to give me my treatment. They then told me that this was the earliest they had gotten out this week. It seems today they actually fixed the second machine and I was the last person, but that the rest of the week they had people up to 6pm. They usually close at 4:30. Next week, thank God, I start my treatments at 7:40 am. So I should not have this problem again.

I did see the Dr. briefly and he thought everything was looking good. He did apologize for the crazy week as he called it. He told me not to take naps during the afternoon if I could help it. He said it is much better to go as long as you can each day and then sleep at night. He said he knew that I would feel tired and not have much energy, but to try not to give into it. He said to try to do something that would take my mind off being tired. I told him sleep usually did that just fine for me. He looked at me sort of funny and then saw me start to laugh. He said."You very funny Mr. McLaughlin".
He then did say that the arm is starting to show signs of burning but that it does look OK for now.

Sharon and I are excited to be leaving for Carlsbad. We both could use a break, Sharon maybe even more than me. She just works way too much.

More later, thanks for being here.
Tom

9-17-09 Thursday

Not a whole lot to report. My blood sugar is so much better. It's hard to describe the difference you feel when you are not constantly hungry and craving sweets. I know the radiation causes me to feel tired and run down, but the other side of that is that I feel so much better than I did before. It's almost a wash.

I'm now working out each day on the bicycle-rowing machine and a full circuit on the Nautilus for my arms. I'm able to do most of them OK, but there are a few that still limit my abilities. When I got into the cast to have radiation last night I could sure feel the fact that I had worked out. I was stiff and it hurt. I know it will be better soon, but right now it does let you know you have not done that for a while.

I had a nice talk with Randy, the general manager of the Carlsbad Inn. He learned a very painful lesson about corporate life. He had a great assistant name Mandy who was a real winner. However he let corporate know about it and before long they found a general managers job for her at Sea Point. He was then left with Yvonne who was somewhat on the same level as Mandy, but not near as competent. After 45 days he wanted to let her go, but corporate said they didn't have anyone to replace her and neither did Randy, so she had to stay for another 30 days. Yesterday was the end of her 30 days, and after her talked to me he was going to let her go. She had told him she was not going to quit, so he only had one direction to take.

It's a great feeling to have one of your people promoted, but it's another feeling that takes place when you have to let one go. As I told him, she knew she couldn't do what was asked of her, but she still needed a job. It's not a good feeling either way. We do have a great guy that Randy is going to move into that position on a temporary basis, but the search will be on for another Mandy.

Sharon and I leave next Thursday for Carlsbad. The Board meeting is on Saturday, so Maura and Thomas get ready to see Mommy and Daddy. It's OK if Myles, Peter, and others come also. See you all next week kids.
Tom

9-15-09 Tuesday

I guess no one wanted to get into the renter situation. Well neither did I so I sent Brian over to fix her damn branch and still have done nothing on the plumbing bill. If I don' think about it, will it go away???????

On to the real meat of this blog. After only one day on insulin my blood sugar is back in normal ranges. My high yesterday was 365 when I started on the insulin. I had to take a very large dose at first to get everything started. I took the evening shot with 15 units and went to bed hoping that it would be fine in the morning. At 7am it was 133. That's lower than it has been in at least three months. I had two eggs and two pieces of bacon and one piece of toast plus a 20oz class of water for breakfast. At lunch my sugar was as low as it has been in three months, 111. For lunch I had a salad and some Chicken-ala-king from Nutra-System. I'm supposed to have snacks at mid morning and mid afternoon, but I was not hungry at all so I had nothing. This evening I was again in the low hundreds and had a N.S. dinner of potatoes and roast beef and another salad. I also have had a cookie for my snack. If I'm around 120 tomorrow, that should show that the doses that she has prescribed have done their job. I betting on the fact that she is correct.

I felt so good today that I started back on a full workout on the Nautilus machines. I was clear up to 155 lbs on most of the arm exercises, so I started at the 70lbs level just to see how it felt. The things I like about their machines is that they show you in pictures which parts of your body are getting the workout. I was amazed how many other muscles you have in your arms that they work on. I could actually do the same weights that I used to be able to do. I seem to be as strong on the bottom side of my bicep as I ever was. Not so much on the front side. I can still see a little flex in what is left of by bicep. It doesn't hurt any where near what it did at first. I've been working every day with a weight that Sharon got me to keep my elbow and shoulder limber. I've noticed that after I get the radiation I can now actually get my arm out of the cast myself. The nurse was very surprised today when I did it. She actually made me put it back in because she was not finished. I said I just wanted to show you I could do it on my own. She had not bin in the room since the first day when I farted when I got up. I wanted to show her I could do it with farting from now on. She wasn't all the impressed, I could tell.

The other thing that happened today was a CT Scan. They were taking pictures of my chest to see if this cancer has spread to my lungs. That's the big question and concern. If it goes to the lungs it is very serious and that can spell lots of trouble getting it out. If it is in the lungs, you don't have lung cancer, you have a soft tissue, high grade, sarcoma, on your lung. It can be operated on, but he said I would not want that to happen. That's why I still need the prayers. I will find out on the 22nd when I see rushing in Indy.

Another nice thing happened to me today. Two friends sent me messages and wished me well. Peter Cutler, he was right out of college in 1986 and I had a territory open in Century City that was rated as one of the tough places to sell our product. It was filled with mainly large law firms and big eight accounting firms. I was told that a young man just out of college would be killed in that territory. I was told that if I did that I would be placing my job on the line. I had already had a "Professional Older Salesman" in the territory and he just would not work the territory. He kept telling me how hard it was to get appointments. I finally had to let him go. I figured this kid who had all this sales experience, He used to sell stereos out of the trunk of his car in Boston, How could he loose. The long and the short of the story is, he won Rookie of the year, and made Presidential Board his first couple years in the territory. He ended up in New York, the home office of the company, and has recently married and moved back to his humble beginnings of LA. I'm hoping to see him next week after the board meeting in Carlsbad.

I also got a nice note from Arie, a man that we meet in Cabo in 2007. He and his friends looked after Cate and her tribe of 11 each night as they covered the bars of Cabo. I'm hoping to see him in Indy this spring at the 500's. He knows his way around that place, and has some fast times there.

I keep you up to date as best I can, take care
Tom

9-14-09 Monday

Remember back when I was telling everyone about my trouble with my blood sugar. Well I finally find out today why. I was given insulin, but not the proper instructions on how and when to take it. I was supposed to take 10 units with each meal and then to add more units depending on the results of the blood test. I was given the graph for the additional units, but never told to start with the ten units. So all I was doing was taking not even 30% of what I should have been taking at each meal. I'm now forced to go on insulin full time for at least the next quarter. I have two different types. There is a once a day type that is 15 units and then the one I have had that starts with 10 units plus the additional depending on where my blood sugar level is. So that adds up to four tests and four shots. God I love being stuck.

I usually go to Carol Burns for my diabetes, but because I was on an emergency basis, I took another nurse. I'm not sure why she did what she did and Carol does not know either, but she screwed up big time. What is it I always say "They practice medicine and if you let them, they will practice on you." I told Carol the new nurse is not even as good as the last one. She was going through all my different meds, and couldn't pronounce any of them correctly except aspirin. But she went to Brown-Mackie college here in Fort Wayne, I forgot to ask her for how long. I love Carol, and as she says it is very difficult to find somebody that is good these days. All the good ones stay where they are. It's the new and bad old that you have to choose from.

As for the radiation treatments, again today the second machine broke down so we got to wait while we alternated out times. I finally got out a little after 5pm. The good thing is they are going to take me from next week on at 7:40am. That way I will be no more than second. I should be first on the regular machine that I'm on, but if they haven't fixed the other one I should only be second at worst.

I've got a tenant that is 83 years old and a very nice lady, but she is driving me crazy. I'll accept any one's feed back on what they think I should do. First of all she called me last Friday late and I didn't get the cell phone call until Friday. So I had Brian go over to see her and see what needed to be done. She had two branches that she said needed to be removed from her yard. The one Brian agreed with, but it would need two people and a large ladder which I don't own. He said he would see what he could do and get back to her next week. It was 8am this morning and she wants to know what our scheduled time will be to fix the branch. I told her we were working on it, but we had no plan yet. It wasn't an hour later and she tried to call me when I was on the phone with the person who might be able to fix the branch when she called again. When I got off the phone I tried her back and got her answering machine. I didn't leave a message because I had just talked to her. Now it's 4pm and she calls to tell me that she has called a plumber to fix her toilet. She paid the $360.00 bill but wants me to pay her back because he found roots and that should be my cost not hers. She also said Brian was told about the toilet. When I ask Brian he said she did show him the toilet and it was slow and just went round and around and did not flush fast. He told her he was sure we had a roto-router and he would let her know next week, which was today. He said she wasn't really that concerned and didn't ask to have it fixed now!!!!

My feeling is she called the plumber before she asked me about it. Her lease stated she is responsible for backed up plumbing and she has to pay. She says the plumber told her it was more my problem than hers and I should pay because of the root problem. He now wants to send me an estiment as to how much he will charge to put in all new pipes. Good Luck ASS HO++. So what do you think I should do???????

You didn't ask to be judge and jury did you. I'm taking it a day at a time so let me know.
Tom

Sept 12 Saturday

I had a very sad news day yesterday. A very good friend of mine from all the way back in grade school, Linda Williams Young, died of brain cancer. What is the most upsetting it that I didn't know about it until it was too late. I saw her last summer at a school function, and we had a chance to chat. In grade school at St Charles, she was one of the hotties. She also was one that had parties quite frequently. I guess I was the other person that had a lot of parties. We started by remembering some of the parties we both had and some of the crazy things we had done together. The one thing that she said stood out in her memory was the fact that she was the queen of the 8th. grade dance and I was the king. She also reminded me that I was the one that said we should have crowns and I should make them. I had forgotten all about that until she brought it up. I did remember doing the crowns once she mentioned it. I actually went to the 5&10 and bought plastic jewels and holders that you could put through cardboard and hold them on like diamonds set in a ring. I think I now remember why I tried to forget that memory. What was I thinking. Well anyway, that was all going through my mind when I heard the news. I decided I had to drive to Lima and say my good buys. I saw her husband Paul and he assured me that she was in a much better place. It had taken her rather quickly, but she was in a lot of pain etc. Everyone loved Linda, she was a teacher, and spent most of her teaching career at St. Charles where she and I were King and Queen of the 8th. grade dance. I will never forget her.

I had my forth treatment today and the first time that I saw Dr. Chang since I started. He looked my arm over and said he was happy with all the X-rays and wanted to know I how felt. I said it definitely hurt when I had to hold my arm above my head for very long and that I understood that some of the time was spent waiting for the Dr. to look at the X-rays. He laughed and said he was always very busy and tried to get their as soon as he was notified. He then looked to see I had any burns on the scar. He didn't find anything yet, but said that before it was over that there would be burns and that I would need some creams to make them less uncomfortable. He also wanted to know if I felt tired. He said that if I wasn't yet, that most likely I would be starting to feel the effects of the radiation. Again he said it will tyre you out and you will not have the energy you are used too. I told him I was working out each day and doing exercises to to keep my elbow and shoulder limber. He said to keep that up now, and for the rest of my life.

We are having some friends over for drink and then dinner tonight. It's been a long time since we have had the opportunity to do anything like that. It's great to have the family here and party with them, but it is also nice to be able to just go out to dinner and let someone else cook. No dishes, no cleaning, just talk and eat, and come home and go to bed and get up to a clean house.

Just four more weeks of radiation and I will know how I stand. I have to get a CT SCAN Tuesday and see Carol Burns on Monday. I'll let you know how all of that plays out. I will not know anything about the scan until the 22nd when I see Dr. Rushing. More later. Have a good weekend
Tom

9-10-09 Thursday

Day two of radiation: I went early so that I could have them schedule all the other things I have to get finished before I see Dr. Rushing on the 22nd. It seems they want more of my blood and I don't mind giving if I haven't already done so. They had to check with three place to see if I have given the right kind of sample and that it's not to long ago. Apparently when you get a CT Scan they give what they call contrast in an IV and your kidneys or something have to be able to handle it. I know I had a Scan before I saw Dr. Rushing the first time, but apparently that was too long ago to count. The next trick I just learned is to have the blood drawn at the Park View Hospitals. That way they don't have to look all over the place to get the information. This time I'm going to use my port because you have to keep it active at least one a month or so or it goes bad. The actually wash it out so to speak so it does not close up. The only place that can do that is the chemo lab that I went to when I was have my chemo. Fortunately it is in the same building that I get my radiation in.

The reason I bring all this up is that I asked the receptionist at the radiation department to help me get all of this accomplished. I went into the radiation at 4pm and when I got out at 4:25 she was still trying to get it accomplished. They are so nice, she didn't have to do this at all, but she said she was not busy because I'm the last appointment of the day and she was happy to help. This entire experience has been filed with people like that. They all must have a deep concern for people who are going through this kind of ordeal.

Now for the radiation treatment. The good news is they only took one set of x-rays this time so it only took twenty minutes or so. The bad news is that they will have to do the same thing they did the first day every fifth day. That means every Monday I can expect the 55 minute treatment. Even yesterday after only twenty minutes my are would not come out of the cast part without help. He said that it was normal not to be able to move your elbow after it was like that for so long. He said sometimes the people get used to it, but many times the older people never do. I asked him what he meant by older, he just look at me and said I qualified.

I've been very tired both yesterday and today. I was told that might happen. I'm usually up at like 5:30 or so but don't have to get out of bed so many time I get out of bed at about 7:15. Today and yesterday it was past 8am before I felt rested enough to get up. I'm still not full of energy and want to go work out. I'm going to do it as I did yesterday, it will just have to wait a while.

I have been very hungry however and it is difficult to stay on the diet I'm trying to maintain. My blood sugar is still screwed up, but I see Carol Burns tomorrow and hopefully she can give me some ideas to help the situation.

I keep you informed tomorrow.
Tom

9-9-09 Wed.

What a date, and I was there, when it was 9-9-09 at 9:09, so there. Well I have not been as active on this blog as I would like, but I now have some good thing to talk about. This past weekend was wonderful. I had Margo and Don, Larry, David, Moe, Jesse, Cate&Klye the .com stars.,Jan Bowler the long lost cousin from Colorado, Brian and Sammy, better later than never, all here for my birthday party. They all started to arrive on Sunday afternoon. David came first to get ready for the rib cook off. Then came Margo and Don with all the side dishes. A few hours later Cate and Kyle showed up as did Moe and Jesse.

David and I had a real competition going. I have a formula for cooking the ribs that I've used for many years, but David seems to think it's just about low and slow. I had to let him think that so I could kick his ass at the end. Sharon loves my ribs and other parts of me I'm told, but she doesn't like BBQ sauce on them. So I have always just had dry ribs and then add your own sauce as you like it. In the past however I have cooked them with a killer sauce that is added one hour before you take them out. You also have to turn up the heat so the sauce will caramelize on the ribs. As Larry said, I've not had ribs like that since you were in Marmion and we went to that place in Aurora that had this kind of sauce. You never forget the taste of something that good. It also helps to listen to the cooking channel. Any way, I won the cook off according to the family.

I also have to mention Moe's great ham and Margo and her beans and her salad and her red skins. Thank too all that make the weekend great. That doesn't count for you Jessy, swimming nude in the pool Monday morning.

I should also mention the pool tournament that started after Sharon and I went to bed Sunday night. I guess it went on until 1:30 or so on Monday morning. I did not hear an official report, but Jesse told me he kicked ass.

It was also great to see and hear from Jan Bowler. She has recently married and man from Colorado and just returned from a great trip around the world. Oh, and by the way Bob, she invited all of us to go with you on the next one.

Now to Tuesday, and the reason for this blog. I went to the first day of radiation. I had been told by a lady that we met in chemo that it only took about 5 minutes for radiation. So I walk in thinking this is going to be a piece of cake. They are so nice when you come in. Hello Mr. McLaughlin, My name is Danyell, and I will be with you today to get you started on the radiation procedure. You can sit here in the waiting room and I will come and get you as soon as we are ready. Within five minutes she was back and escorted me to the room where they sit while you get the treatments. It has five different monitors and it had a picture of my are in an x-ray. She then pointed out how they had taken half my bicep, and placed little metal markers in my arm as to where there the tumor was, for the radiation procedure.

I was then led into a large room with a very large x-ray machine in it. They had the cast of my head and where I had to place my head and arm so they could pin point where the machine would take the radiation pictures. So I lay down thinking this would take five minutes and then they started to move me first, then the table, then move me again and then had me sit up again while they moved the cast to another position. They then laid me back down and started to move the x-ray machines all around me and taking pictures etc, Now when I lay down I have to have my left arm up behind my head and to the side so that it is not close to my head but still up and behind it. You try that position for fifty five minutes. When they were finally finished she had to personally remove my arm from the cast. I was so sore I could not able to move it at first. I laid their for a minute or so before I would let her try to get me up. I had to fart so bad I was embarrassed, but I didn't know what to do or say. I then told her to let me try to do it myself like I do when I get out of bed. I locked my leg under the machine to get some leverage and then pulled myself up to a sitting position. As I did that I cut a fart that sounded like a lighting burst. I had had to do that for the last half hour, but they kept coming in and out and I didn't want them to have to smell that. I'm sure now that she would have rather smelled a small one, rather than the one I let fly at the end. I can't say I'm looking forward to the next visit, but they said the first one is always the longest. They had to take all the x-rays to make sure they were lined up correctly. I'll keep this more up to date now that I'm back into treatment.

I also want all of you to know I am feeling much better and hope this will come to a healthy conclusion. Keep up the prayers.

September 3rd. Thursday

Just a quick update. I will be starting my radiation on Tuesday next week. the crazy thing is I had to start on Tues. for my chemo because it was Memorial Day week. How well did that crew my summer. I don't think I will forget this summer for a long time. At least I hope to hell it will be a long long time. I asked to have the treatments at 7:45 if possible, they have me down for 4pm. It's close but no cigar. They say they will try to do better, but no guarantees. You put down your money "or life" and take your chances.

Unfortunately yesterday I had to go to a funeral for Larry's father-in-law, George. He had been fighting cancer for a few years and finally lost the battle. He was a great guy and he and I felt much the same about the world. If you ain't a Conservative Republican you have not lived much of a life. If you don't watch Fox News you don't know sh++ about the real world. And if Ohio State is playing you got to be rooting. Even if your daughters went to michigan and indiana. They are great schools, and deserve to be capitalized when you talk about academics, but not so much for football.

I'm looking forward to this weekend when the Pud and Nan clan get together. We are also including Jesse, if he doesn't fu++ with uncle Don's computer, and maybe even his girlfriend. Jan Bowler is also coming from Colorado to see all of us. And David and I are having a rib cook off, or as Hope Strong once wrote in the Lima News Cock Out.

Cate and Myles look good for the Condo. Cate actually met one of the guys who used to live in her new condo. His brother is the other person, but he died of an overdose of his medicine in the unit last October. He had some disorder and took too many pills at one time I guess. The guy did say she is getting a very good deal on the condo. It's much less than they paid for it two or more years ago. Cate is also knocking them dead in sales. She had a quota of $20,000.00 her first full month on the job and sold $37,000.00. So far this month she is at $13,00.00 and had a $16,000.00 order ready to have the check picked up. They do demo's and if the people like the machine, they just let it stay where it is. She just has to be a chip of the old block. Thank God one of my kids decided to take a chance to make some big big bucks. She is the youngest, but watch out for her. She love the fact that she has some say as to how much she can make.

That's enough for now, talk to you later.
Tom

AUG 30TH SUNDAY

I can't believe it's almost Sept. You know when the summer started I knew I had cancer and I figured it would take most of the summer to have the chemo and the surgery but I never believed how fast the time would go. While I was having chemo I never thought it would pass, but looking back it seems like no time at all. I think I only have about seven more weeks before all the treatments are over. That is if all is well when I have my scans and radiation. Still keep the prayers coming.

Yesterday Brian and I finally go the pool cleaned. We actually had to vacuum the entire area of the pool. The algie had actually covered the entire surface of the plaster. I had put some algie killer in the pool about a week ago, and it did kill it, but we just had not gone in and vacuumed it all out. Now it looks wonderful. I went to Lowes and got some shock and it cleared the water right now.

I also cleaned my office and made the last of the tomatoes that we had. We made about 30 jars of spaghetti and four large containers of salsa. I had some of the salsa and it was hot but it was great. My family get to try it this next weekend. By the way family, Kroger had Baby Backs on special today and so we will be having ribs for my birthday. I'll make three slabs and we will let David try his hands at a slab. We will then have a rib cook-off to see who makes the best ribs.

I have some sad news from my brother Larry that his father-in-law died yesterday after a long illness. His funeral will be Wed. in Columbus. Sharon wanted to go with me, but because it is the Labor Day week she has discovered that we can't find enough help for both the Essen and Manor House's. She will have to stay and do double duty. I'm sure that Margo and Moe will be able to attend along with me. So sorry Toby for your loss.

I'll probably get back to this after Wed. but not much before that. I'll then let you know about my birthday. Hopefully I'll start radiation shortly after that and will keep you up to date with how that is going. So long for now!
Tom

Aug. 28th. Friday

I was waiting to hear from the radiation people before I did any thing else on the blog. I heard form them last night just about quiting time. They said I get to come back in because all the work we did will have to be repeated. I guess they could not match the MRI and the scan they had so they have to do it all over again. I then asked if I could come in first thing and they said they had to work me in at noon. I have ink marks all over my arm and chest and have not been able to clean the pool or shower because I not supposed to get them wet. So now it looks like they will remove these and put more and different ones on. My pool is in bad shape. I had some algi and treated the pool for that, but you have to vacuum the algi out and that is what I have not been able to do. I was just going to close the pool, but then they told me I needed to exercise the elbow and shoulder and swimming is the best thing for that I know.





I've got the family coming for my birthday next weekend and if I don't get the pool cleaned I will look like a fool. Sharon thinks I can do it without getting into the pool, but that is not as easy as it sounds. To hook up the vacuum you almost have to be in the water or somehow lay on the deck and have the head under water and fill the hose with water and then attach the hose to the head and finally thread it through the skimmer to attach to the pool inlet. I'm good, but not that good.





I'll finish this after I come home from the Dr's.

OK I'm back and have almost no new news. They decided to put my arm over my head to take the pictures this time. That's all well and good except a little over two years ago I could not do that. I've been taking the hyaluronic acid so I can raise my arm above my head. After about thirty minutes with my arm above my head, it started to burn. They had me grab this cast like material so that when it hardened I would have to put my hand back in the cast so that I would be in the exact same position the next time. They finally let me put my arm down after about forty five minutes and I want to tell you it was hurting. My shoulder didn't want to work correctly. I had not realized how much arthritis I actually had in my shoulder. I know realize how well the HA or hyaluronic acid works.



When they finally finished, the one assistant asked if I wanted to wait to see when they would start my radiation, and what times were available. As it turned out, they don't know when I'm going to start. They don't want to start me next week because of the holiday, so it will not be that week for sure. The only times they have the following week is at noon or at 4pm. Neither time is what I was asking for. I wanted first thing in the morning if possible. She said in three weeks it may be possible, but not until then for sure. So all I know now is, I'm not starting next week, and I will have to wait and hear from them as to when.



I also don't get to swim until after they start my radiation. They again have me all marked up with line etc. This time they actually gave me a tattoo, twice. They did that in case I did go swimming and wore of any of the lines they put on me.



Note to Margo,Larry David and Moe, the pool will be open, but the bottom will not be vacuumed. I might even have it closed since it could be three weeks before I can swim again.



I'll keep you up to date as to what will happen next.

Aug 25th Tuesday

I had writers block there for a few days because I did not have much to say. Today is a different day. The first thing that happened was, I was just about to go on to facebook when I get a pop up saying "are you on line". It was Myles, from Greenland. I have been trying to reach him for two days so it was a big relief to find him on line. He and Cate are partners on her Condo in Indy. We are buying it from a Bank and they wanted 25% down because in a way it is an investment property at least for Myles. He agreed to that because the property she has found has been totally remodeled and all new appliances. It also has a two car garage which is great for her motorcycle and it gets it out of my garage. So Myles and I are going back and forth on the e-mail and all of a sudden I remember I have a Dr's appointment and have to get their now!

Today I was to get set up for radiation. I first met with the Dr. and he was a very nice young and well educated man. He explained all about what was going to happen and how the chemo I had was an elective and somewhat controversial procedure. Since I had already had the chemo, I was very interested in hearing his side of the case. He said that chemo could not kill a sarcoma under any circumstance so the only reason I would want chemo was to possibly kill any other cancer that may have escaped into my body. I told him that had been explained to me and I accepted that risk.

He then explained that radiation would kill any cancer cells that were still in the tumor area. He then explained how he was going to have to scan the entire scar area as well as the drain site. That was a much larger area than I had been told about earlier. I was told he probably would not radiate my elbow because it may cause damage. He said that was true, but I didn't want to risk the fact that there may be cancer still alive in those areas. He now has to do my elbow as well as my shoulder. I will have to do exercises the rest of my life or my elbow and shoulder could stiffen tight. It still might happen, but like he said, I still have some use of my arm and hand and that's better than letting cancer cells alone in my body.

He explained that scar tissue can form in the joints and that is why I want to continue to exercise the rest of my life. I now take "hydroponic" acid now so that will not happen without the radiation. He said I could have lost the arm, so I should be happy with whatever use I can have with my arm and hands.

He then took me into a room with a large scanner and laid me out on a table and started trying to make a cast they can use when I get the radiation. You have to lay on the machine perfectly still and in the exact position each time you have the radiation. That's why they make the cast. You lay down and they put you in the exact position that you were in the first time.

It took them one and a half hours to figure out how they were going to do it so they could get the entire scar area included. I was in and out and moved around until they think they have it figured out. After the hour and a half they finally let me up, "big Head rush", and they said that they very well might have to have me back later to do it again. They were going to have to superimpose my MRI on the scan of my arm to make sure they lined up perfectly. They would not know if that happened until tomorrow. So I have all these markings on my arm and body so they will know where everything was. I was going to go home and clean the pool and swim for the first time since my surgery. NOT SO FAST THERE BUSTER! No swimming or shower until they know they have it right. They are supposed to get back to me tomorrow, but maybe as late as Friday. They want me to start next Monday, but they are so busy that I might not be able to start until the middle of the week. They want it Monday to Friday, but they will start me, just like the chemo people did, in the middle of the week if they have to, to get me in the rotation.

I just talked to Randy about the condo and he said we got it in on time and now we will have to wait on the bank. We at least know that we have a solid offer in and we should get it. He said with the banks you never know for sure. They are allowed to break all the rules if they care too. I guess they all know Mr. Obama. Monkey see monkey do you know. If he can do what he wants, so can they. Tom, how can you even think that way! Oh I don't know, maybe I've seen this show before. It's like that pole I saw on AOL about "Do you think congress should be forced to have the same health insurance as the rest of us peon's. Vote yes or no. Come on, you think Obama is going to bring himself down to a voters level???????? I don't think so. All I can say is I'm glad most of my cancer trouble is coming to an end. I would hate to be under Obama Care, ever.

Have I ranted enough. I guess all my liberal friends have signed off by now anyway. Love to the rest of you. Please keep praying.
Tom

Aug 21st. Friday

Today was my be nice to the people that keep me alive. I first went to the gym about 9am and took some tomatoes that the Lengachers had give to Sharon. They are so good, but you can only can so many and make so much tomato sauce. They are all organically grown and if you have checked in the stores they get quite a price for organic anything. The lady that helped me with my bandage one day was the one that I left them with. She was soooo happy. She said she loves tomatoes and that they are very expensive this year.

Since she was so excited about getting them I decided I had a few more people on my "keeping me alive list" so I went home and made up a few bags of tomatoes and headed for the chemo office. I got there around 10am and the place was packed. I always went very early in the morning and never really saw it where people were waiting in the outer office to get in. I was only able to see one of the five girls that were on duty because they were so busy. When I would be there I could always talk to most of them because there were never more that three or four of us around. Mary was also very happy to get the tomatoes. She said she would see to it that everyone share in the bounty.

Earlier I had called Carol Burns's office to see when my appoint to see her was. They informed me that it was yesterday. When I asked when I could get another appointment the lady said sometime in November. I then asked to talk to Deb in Endocrinology. She and I are buddies and when I run out of pills before my next refill, she always gives me some samples and I give her little treats. This time she had actually set aside a time for me when she and Carol realized yesterday that I was not going to make my appointment. I've been seeing Carol for 10 years and have never missed an appointment. Deb knew I had surgery because she got me some samples the Friday before my surgery. She told Carol she thought I probably would be calling to re-schedule. She set me up for Sept 10 at 8:30 the time I always want to have when seeing Carol. She is a Love, but she takes soooo much time with each person that if you come later in the day, you will wait a long time to see her. I didn't tell Deb that I was going to bring her tomatoes but I decided she would be a great person to give them to also. I was right, she gave me a big hug and said she would share with the office and Carol.

While I was at the chemo office I also stopped at the radiation office that will be next door to the chemo office. I thought they were the same, but it is two separate Dr's offices. I told them how much I liked the chemo people and they said I would like them better. They explained that they work a little differently than the chemo people because they have people in every ten to fifteen minutes and each one is different. With chemo you can come any time because they make up the medicine early and have it in your name when you come in. The radiation will only take about ten to fifteen minutes, but they said to plan on being there for about thirty minutes out of your day.

I go Tuesday to meet the Dr. and get a run down on what they plan to do and I have a decision to make about my treatment. It is actually preventative and not like the surgery. I can say no if I choose, and I can stop if I'm not tolerating it well. I'm sure I will go all the way with it. I sure as hell don't want this thing coming back on me again.

Sharon is at the Essen House until 8pm and Sammy and Brian are not here, so I think I'll make some dinner and maybe go to the movies. More later.
Tom

Aug. 20th Thursday

I went to the radiation Dr. today to find out what was going to happen next. It looks like at least 6 weeks of radiation starting in the next couple weeks. I had to go clear out to Lutheran Hospital to see the Dr. only to find that they have an office at the same location where I had the chemo. I was going to look into having the Dr. where I got the chemo talk to me about the radiation because as you go into their building you turn right to go for chemo and left to go to radiation. As it turns out they are two different practices. One does the chemo and the other is radiation. I will be seeing a Chinese Dr. for the radiation. The Dr. I saw today was also Chinese but it was funny, Sharon is reading a book about China but she didn't want to talk at all about the book or China. I said I thought that was funny that she didn't want to talk about it, but she just said that non on the books are current about China and she and her mother never experienced anything that they talk about in any of the Chinese books written in the US. She didn't however have any trouble referring me to another Chinese Dr. Of friend of Sharon's said that it is well understood that the Chinese Dr's are very well trained if they studied in China and finished up in the US. They actually have to take a lot more classes in China on more subjects than in the US. I hope to hell they know radiation. She said what radiation I was going to get was fairly simple since it does not include a vital organ.

The next thing that you are about to see is the actual tumor that they took out of me. It's not pretty, so just be warned if you don't like ugly. For some reason I could not get the picture to show up once and in the area that I wanted. The size is 15cm long and the entire thing is about the size of a grapefruit. I can't believe that it is all together. I could have sworn it was longer and not all together. They also took a great deal of my bicep I was told today. She showed me what it should be and then what it was. She said it will take time to get to the point that I will have strength. She also said they will not be doing any radiation on my elbow because it would cause arthritics. As another friend on mine said, the more radiation and x-rays and scans you get the more likely they will cause another kind of cancer. What a happy thought!!!!!

I have another appointment on the 25th to get all the particulars on my treatment, I'll let you know then what's going to happen. For now I'm making our reservations for Carlsbad. So Randy, Tom, Maura, and Joe get ready to see us on the 24th of Sept.

Later

Tom

Aug 18th Tuesday

We were up way tooooo early, to head to Indy. I had been taking pain pills all night long because of my gout kicking up all of a sudden. I took another one just before going in to see the Dr. just in case it hurt taking out the stitches.

The Dr. felt the scar was healing nicely but I do have some swelling high on my shoulder that he said should go down now that he took of the bandages. He has advised me that I will need radiation for 5 or 6 weeks. He has referred us to a Dr. in Fort Wayne that he works with all the time. We thought we were going back to the same Dr that did the chemo, but he said he favored this Dr's ability to do radiation. I will be going out to Lutheran Hospital which is much further but the same place I go for my diabetes.

I've talked to some people about radiation and it doesn't sound near as bad as the chemo. Sometimes you get like a sun burn, but they have good creams etc. for when that happens. It about the same as the medicine they have for nausea when your getting chemo.

Back to the Dr. office and my scar. Once he told me what I would have to be doing he said he would send someone in to remove the stitches. I was so excited to hear that. He comes in with an industrial set of wire cutters and I decide it time for me to lay down. He actually thought I was going to sit there and watch him remove over 6o f+++++ stitches. It took about ten or fifteen minutes to pull them all out. There were three or four that gave him some trouble and hurt, but other than that it was not as bad as I thought. when he took the all out he then put these little thin bandages across the scar to keep it from opening up. He said I had to keep them on until they fell off on their own. I can shower but not swim for at least 5 days.

It is a little easier to maneuver with the bandage off, but it's also a little scary to know the scar could pull apart if I'm not careful. I did eat my lunch and dinner with my left hand today, so that is easier, but not perfect yet. I still can't turn it all the way to get it into my mouth like before. I'm sure it will come.

After the appointment we went to Sharon's favorite place for breakfast, Denny's. She got her Grand Slam Breakfast with pancakes. She was so full she had to leave me at the table and go outside and walk it off. We then went to meet Cate and look at condo's.

We saw only two condo's. One was bank owned and the other was private sale. The bank owned was a 3 BR 2-1/2 B with a double car garage. The other one was the same size but one garage. The second one was lived in and had a nice paint job. The bank owned had new everything but basic paint job. The difference in the price was over $10,000.00. Guess which one we put a bid in on? You got it, the bank owned condo. We should know in a day or two what they will do. We low balled the offer to see what they will counter. It's an end unit and has a great deck and back yard. Cate brought her current roommate with her and he liked it a lot. She is lucky that he wants to move into this place with her when their lease is up. She now only needs to find one more person.

It's now 11:06 and I'm tired and going to bed. More later! Tom

Aug.17th. Monday

I sure glad the weekend is over. All together I did not have a great weekend. I just could not get it together and felt like sh++. I got up early this morning however and felt good enough to go to the gym and work out for 30 minutes on my rowing machine.

I had unwrapped my bandage and then was unable to get it put back together so I called Sharon and she said, the gym is part of the hospital, so have them help you. When I got there they were both busy so I stood around until the woman got free and she asked me how she could help me. I explained that I needed help wrapping my bandage. She said: " well I'm not a nurse, and I have never done that before, but if it isn't too difficult, I will try to help you." I said I'm sure you can do a better job with two hands than I did with one. We then unwrapped the bandage that I had done and when she saw the scar she about sh++. What's that!, I explained what it was and she got scared that she was not going to be able to touch it. I calmed her down and together we got it wrapped. It did take us three tries before we got it right. It has two Velcro ends and you have to start it correctly so at the end it will have the correct end to attach to the bandage itself.

I'm now able to go the entire 30 minutes using both arms. I can also keep my arm at my side, which has hurt until today. We go to the Dr. tomorrow and Sharon thinks he will take out the stitches. I think once I get the bandage off it will be easier to eat and brush my teeth etc.

We are going to meet the real estate salesman in Indy tomorrow because Cate has found two more condo's she would like to have. The one is the exact same model as the one she had put a bid in on for $104,000.00, but they want $124,900 for it. I'm thinking with the comps against them that they might think twice before turning down an offer. Myles is on a Cruse so we will have to e-mail him to see if he approval of the deal. They are going together on the property. Myles wants a real estate investment and Cate wants a condo, so it is a good partnership deal. Cate watches over the investment and lives there, Myles gets to invest in property other than in LA where the prices are still out of sight.

I was able to get out today and help Sharon get the bread order. I can drive, but it is nice when I can just ride and then help her find the bread she needs. I've been doing it so long I can go right where they keep the certain kind of breads. Margo, by the way they now have that slim bread that you brought to the house. I can get it for .50 a package. We actually had someone try to take it out of our bread box while we were not looking. Sharon says, "Hay mister, that my bread". He then put it back in our rack.

I should have a big blog tomorrow since we are going to the Dr. Where not sure what all will happen, but we think the bandages off for sure and we might know if I need any radiation. We are hoping not, because we want to go to Carlsbad for the meeting on the 24th of Sept. He said he might let me go even though you are suppose to have treatments five days in a row, maybe missing one day would not hurt. We will see what he says tomorrow. Til then!!!! That was a good song also.

Aug 16th Sunday

I just got back for mass and breakfast. I went to my favorite restaurant this morning, but the waitress that I always have didn't know me at all. I had to finally tell her how she would remember me and she finally did. That's as bad as Margo not knowing who I was in a picture after I cut my beard and hair. I do look in the mirror each day and try to remember what I look like with hair and a beard. My beard is starting to come back, but it sure doesn't look like it once did. The last time I had to wait for a beard to grow back was 1971 when I shave it to get a job. When the guy saw me with my beard cut off he told me I looked better with a beard, so it's OK to grow it again. When I joined the Research Institute of America a year later I had a beard and when I went to the first National meeting I tried to get into the meeting room but the National sales manager stopped me because he said no one with RIA had a beard. I then pointed to my regional manager and he came over and got me in the door. He then told my regional manager that I had to shave my beard. We then had a big discussion and I said that if I was not successful in the first six months that I would shave it off. As it turned out I was back at the home office in five months,in the training class that is usually after a person is with the company for at least a year. The same National Sales Manager greeted me at the meeting room door and said that I still needed to shave my beard. Until the man was let go two years later, he always told me to shave that damn beard. The man that replaced him grew a beard and mustache then became the president of RIA. So that's why I have always kept my beard and mustache. I never did get to be President of RIA however. I thought I was going to be, but then I got that call, and that ended that.

Enough of that, I have been working with my left arm as much as possible. I'm trying to us it the way I normally do. Brushing my teeth is quite a chore. It is very difficult with the bandage on to get my elbow to bend all the way to make it easy to maneuver. It's the same when I try to use it to eat. I can get it most of the way up to my mouth, but it just isn't quite the same. I tried to open a jar of pickles yesterday but no luck. I just can apply any pressure without it starting to hurt. There are things that I can do that make it seem that it OK, but then other things just can't be done. My blood sugar is getting much better. I'm not using any insulin any more. I have to be very careful, but it is working. I cooked Sharon and me a steak and mashed potatoes the other night. That was the first time for some time we had that. I took Sammy and we went to the Essen House yesterday morning for the buffet. We went to surprise Sharon, but she left early and we actually passed her on the way. We still went and had breakfast anyway. Sammy had a cinnamon roll and some bacon and I had eggs and sausage and bacon. It was good to get out and see all the regulars at the restaurant on Saturday morning.

We finally sold the tanning bed after we heard about the Cancer scare if someone under thirty used it regularly. Apparently the people that bought it didn't care or didn't read about the study. I would never get in anything that closed me in like that thing anyway. I remember a James Bond film when they locked someone in a steam tub one time. You'll never get me in anything like that.

My big day is going to be watching the final round of the PGA, my money is still on Tiger. I know I'm stepping out on a limb, but I love to take chances as you all know. If I feel the urge, I might also go to the gym. I didn't go yesterday and I should have. I still lost two more lbs and am now down to 242lbs. I feel a little light headed the past two days, but I think it's just from not getting enough exercise or something. I don't have it when I work out, but I get head rushes when I get up from sitting and watching TV etc. I'm also not sleeping too well because I like to sleep on my left side and I can't get my left arm under my head the way I normally sleep. I try to do it braced with pillows and sticking up, but it wakes me up when I move at night and try to put it under my head. I'm sure it will be OK when I get the bandages off.

That's all for today.
Tom

Aug 14th Friday

I have been ask to put a picture of my scar on the blog. I can't look at it yet myself because I think I might faint. It's one thing to have the pain in the arm, it's quite another to see what is causeing the pain. I like going through life not knowing some things. For those who don't like this kind of thing, turn your head, because this is ugly.

If you can't tell, that runs from my shoulder to the underside of my elbow. What you can't see is how screwed my arm is. I'm not sure how much of the muscle they had to take, but I have a very large indentation where the muscle used to be.

I pray each day that the feeling and the ability to use the arm will return soon. Most of the surgery pain has gone, now it's just the pain that is their when I try to use it in certain ways.

I'm on my way to the gym, so the rest of my body will be in better shape than my arm.

More tomorrow.

Tom

Aug 13th. Thursday

I'm sorry for not keeping up with my blog, but I have been trying to get back into some sort of normal routine and it has been rough. I've decided to get back to the gym for at least 30 minutes each day. They have a rowing type of machine that I can use my legs and my arms. My left arm can't take the exercises yet but everything else is working out. My blood pressure today was 111/62 so I was very pleased. My weight is holding at 244 and I still want to loose another 40lbs. I have not been that thin since 10 grade. Going into the tenth grade I weighed 200 when I signed up for football. I think I was 10 to 15 lbs bigger by the time the season was over. I just remember hitting that 200lbs level for football.

I'm still having problems with my blood sugar. In the hospital they said there was not much I could do about it until I got back to some sort of normalcy. They said the surgery makes your body produce too much sugar to try to make you heal. I'm still having to use insulin to try to keep it below 200

I have been sleeping very well. I say my prayers at night and I have not even gotten to Darrin before I fall asleep. I pray in order of age, me first of course then Sharon etc. I have cut my pain medicine down to two a day. I took one last night at 8pm and then again one at about 11pm. during the day I can get used to the pain, but at night it will keep me awake. I still have to get up during the night because I'm drinking a lot of water each day. Since I can now go to the bathroom much better than before, I can use a bottle by my bed and not have to wake up to pee.

We have been blessed these last few weeks even if this surgery is not considered a blessing. My brother David was called back to work after being off for 8 months. My daughter Cate has started her new job after having it canceled once. She got her first sale last week. We are now talking to Sharon's relatives for the first time in over three years. The Essen House just had a great week with all the reunion people coming in to eat. The biggest thing that happened was that we got four new people to move into the Manor House. We now have 26 residents. We picked up ten residents in two and a half months. We also found out another facility may be closing in the area and we could pick up as many as 25 new residents. We have 52 rooms and that would be great to fill them all. Keep praying, is my motto. The good Lord has been listening.

Thats all for now folks!!!
Tom

AUG 11 TUESDAY

I CAN TYPE A LITTLE WITH BOTH HANDS NOW. I CAN'T DO IT FOR LONG, SO HEAR IT GOES.
THE DAY OF THE OPERATION, WE ARRIVE AT 5:30AM AT THE HOSPITAL AND THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE WAITING TO HAVE OPERATIONS. IT'S LIKE, GET IN LINE DUDE.
ONCE IN THE SURGERY PREP ROOM I MET MY FIRST "DR???" AS IT TURNS OUT HE IS AN INTERN FROM GUESS WHERE "COLLEGE OF ST. GEORGE" THAT'S IN GRANADA. SHARON AS HIM WHY HE WENT THERE, I SAID, THAT'S THE ONLY PLACE HE COULD GET IN. HE LAUGHED AND SAID THAT'S ABOUT RIGHT. HE THEN PROCEEDED TO TRY TO STICK ME FOR AN I.V. NO LUCK ON THE FIRST STICK, AND YOU GOT TO KNOW WHAT I TOLD HIM ON THE SECOND SECOND BAD ATTEMPT. GET OUT OF HERE, GET YOUR F++++++ BOSS IN HERE. WHEN HE DID ARRIVE HE EXPLAINED THEY ONLY ATTEMPT ONCE. I THEN TOLD HIM TO STICK MY PORT. HE SAID HE WOULD IN THE OPERATING ROOM.
SO NOW I'M IN THE OPERATING ROOM AND THEY ASK ME IF I WANT A NERVE BLOCK. I HAD TOLD THEM BEFORE THAT I DID, BUT THEY ALWAYS ASK TWICE I GUESS IN CASE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND. THE NEXT THING I KNOW THERE IS SOMEONE AT MY NECK WITH A NEEDLE TRYING TO FIND MY NERVES. HE TRIES TWO OR THREE DIFFERENT TIME AND HAS MY ARM JUMPING, BUT CAN'T SEEM TO FIND THE THIRD NERVE. THE SURGEON FINALLY SAYS SOMETHING TOO HIM AND HE STOPS. I THEN HEAR THE OTHER DR. ASK IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO STICK A PORT. NO ONE ANSWERS, SO HE FINALLY TELLS SOMEONE TO GO GET SOME NURSE. IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG A LADY'S VOICE SAYS, OK I'M GOING TO STICK YOU SO TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND IT WILL BE GOOD NIGHT.
THE NEXT THING I REMEMBER IS WAKING UP IN RECOVERY. THE SURGEON IS ASK ME HOW I FEEL AND I SAYING I HURT REAL BAD IN MY LEFT ARM. HE ASKS ME TO MOVE MY LEFT HAND BUT THE ONLY THING I COULD MOVE WAS MY THUMB. HE SAYS THAT'S NOT GOOD, HE THEN SHOWS ANOTHER DR. THAT I CAN STILL MOVE MY THUMB. APPARENTLY THEY DIDN'T EVER GET THE THIRD NERVE DEADENED. SO HE SAYS WE WILL HAVE TO GIVE HIM PAIN MEDICATION FOR THAT SITUATION. I NOW KNOW WHAT THAT SITUATION MEANS. A CERTAIN PART OF MY LEFT ARM HURTS LIKE HELL. PART IS NUMB, AND I CAN'T EVEN TOUCH MY SKIN AT THAT POINT, IT HURTS SO MUCH. AS YOU ALL KNOW MY SAYING "THEY PRACTICE MEDICINE, AND IF YOU LET THEM, THEY WILL PRACTICE ON YOU". WELL GUESS WHAT, AT A TEACHING HOSPITAL, THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS.
OH YEA,, WHEN THEY TRIED TO PUT IN A CATHETER, THEY DIDN'T FOLLOW THE URETHRA. THEY MADE THEIR OWN PATH. ONCE THEY SAW THE BLOOD, THEY HAD TO CALL IN ANOTHER EXPERT TO SOLVE THAT LITTLE PROBLEM. GUESS WHO GOT TO WEAR THAT LITTLE PLEASURE FOR THE NEXT WEEK. THE ONLY GOOD THING THAT CAME OUT OF THAT EXPERIENCE WAS THAT I GOT TO MEET A NEIGHBOR I HAD NEVER MET, HE WAS THE DR. THAT TOOK IT OUT, AND I HAVE THE BEST STREAM I'VE HAD IN YEARS.

I AM FEELING MUCH BETTER, I'M ONLY TAKING PAIN MEDICATION AT NIGHT AND I'VE STARTED TO GO TO THE BATH ROOM AGAIN. HAY, THIS IS ABOUT GETTING BETTER, SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT THE CREATURE COMFORTS, DON'T READ THIS PART. I'M GETTING BETTER ONE PART AT A TIME. IT'S ALL GOT TO WORK OR YOU ARE NOT BETTER. THANKS AGAIN FOR THE PRAYERS.
TOM

Friday Aug 7th.

I'M ALIVE, AND HAVE NO CANCER AROUND THE TUMOR AREA. THEY DID A SCAN ON THE TISSUE AROUND THE TUMOR AREA AND IT CAME BACK NEGATIVE. THAT'S A GREAT THING. NOW I HAVE TO SEE THE SURGEON IN TWO WEEKS AND DR. RUSHING IN A MONTH. I MIGHT STILL NEED RADIATION. I'LL KNOW IN A MONTH. I CAN ONLY TYPE WITH ONE HAND SO IT WILL BE A WHILE BEFORE I CAN TELL THE ENTIRE STORY. THERE WERE SOME BBIIGG SCREW UPS. STAY TUNED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOM

Aug. 2nd. Sunday Day before surgery

On Friday I didn't think I would want to blog any more, but I guess this thing has become a part of me and when things happen or I think of something I want to share it. For those who are viewing this but are not Catholic, this might not be of interest to you.

At mass this morning I just happened to sit next to a nun who I had seen before, but did not know. When we were to turn and introduce ourselves to each other, I asked her to pray for me tomorrow because I was going to be operated on. She said she would be happy too. At the end of the mass she leaned over and told me I should ask the priest to give me the blessing of the sick. It's not the same as the last rights, but it is an anointing of oil and a total dispensation of your sins. My sister Margo had told me about it, but I went to the rectory one day and the Indian priest didn't seem to know what I was talking about. Well somehow the Good Lord had me sit next to the nun that knew what to have me do. So if any of you think the Lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, I had to differ with you, but I do. I feel so much better already, and positive about what will happen tomorrow. What ever happens, I'll be prepared. I still want the prayers from you guys, but I know I have done what I can do. Also, Margo, thanks for your prayer for someone who is going to be operated on. It includes the prayer for the Dr's and the medical team.

Sharon and I will be staying at the University Inn tonight and we must check in at 5:30am tomorrow. The operation will start at 7:30am and should last about 4 to 41/2 hours. We'll keep you up to date.

I will personally try to get back to this as soon as I can type.

Tom

Aug. 1st. Saturday

I have been ask by some viewers to see what my arm looks like before surgery. Sharon also thinks it's a good idea to have some picture evidence. It aint pretty folks. It went from a 15 in. bicep when we first saw the Dr. to a 17 in. bicep just before surgery. The chemo killed a little bit of it, but it is still growing so they need to take it before it spreads all over my arm.

Hopefully Monday they will take this out and all will be well. It's in the hands of the Lord and his skilled professionals. Keep up the prayers.

Thank again for your concern over the last couple of months.

Tom

July 30th. Thursday

Finished up some loose ends today so I will be ready for surgery and anything else that may happen. I've rounded up as much stuff that I will need while I'm in the hospital. I also made a new will so there is no mistaken what my true intentions are. I took it over to the neighbors and they were talking about how lucky I was to have this done before Obama has the health care taken over by "HIS GOVERNMENT". If you haven't heard, he wants to make everyone over 65 have a meeting with a government "silent kill specialist". That's not what they will call them, but just like in England, they will explain to us how we have already lived a good long life, and it would be unfair for us to spend money on procedures that would only increase our life expectancies maybe five or six years. They will then explain how you can cause you own death by telling any health care person to not help you in any way. Maybe you would like to starve to death. I watched my mother have that experience. She could not help herself because she could no longer swallow. Even though she was unable to speak etc. you could tell she was in pain. Maybe you want to have them take the oxygen supply away, that would be a fun way to die. I have sleep apnea, maybe I should just turn off the machine so I can choke to death. That man, and all of his associates should be on a plain that tries to land in the Ocean and fails. Those that can swim, good luck, those that can't will last about 2 seconds less than the swimmers. It's hard to take a 250mph landing, but I'm willing to see them try.



The next thing I did was to get ready for a trial that I must attend on October 15 because I refused to pay Steamatic for a $3600.00 bill they sent me for 2 hours work on December 24th. What they don't know is that I have pictures that will prove they did not do what they claim they did. I can't wait until there attorney sees these pictures. Since it is Small claims court I can represent my self and I will not ask for a pre-trial hearing. I'll hit them with the pictures in court. I had told him I was willing to pay so much. but he said the whole thing or he would see me in court.



Well guy's, I think this will be my last entry until I have had the surgery. I feel as good as I can expect under the circumstances. I swam for 25 minutes today and felt pretty good. I just hope I will be able to swim after this operation. He said I would loose some muscle but that I should be able to use the arm, but he would not predict how much or how well. Only time will tell at this point. Please remember to pray for me and the DR's.



Thanks for listening the past 60 days.

July 29th. Wed.

It is starting to sink in that Monday they are going to cut this thing out of my arm. If all goes well it should be no big deal. Try to tell your mind that when you know darn well that things can go wrong. They don't ask all those questions about your health and your heart and your breathing and if you have any kind of allergies. It also is a little disconcerting that they wanted to take the BUMP of my Leg not my bicep. It they are good as some of the nurses that stick you I'm in deep trouble. I know my Dr has a great reputation, I just hope his support staff is as competent as he is reported to be.

I had a very interesting happen when it came time to get a hotel room today. We were told that the University Inn was next to the Hospital and they will give you a special rate if your are going to be in the Hospital. So I went to the Internet and put in University Inn and it brought up four or five sites for the place. The first one was a site called hotel rooms or something like that, but I did not notice it's name until I heard the person on the other end speaking in an Indian accent. I almost hung up but decided to talk to him and see what kind of a rate he would come back with. I explained that I was having surgery on Monday and wanted a room for Sunday night through Wed.. He then left for about ten minutes and I was ready to hang up when he came back and said he was able to get a very special rate for me and was very sorry to hear that I had cancer and was having surgery. The rate was $78.80 and he said that he gave me a $53.00 discount of the published rate. As it so happened Sharon had taken my wallet to work so I was unable to give him a credit card. I asked him to call me back in an hour and I would have a credit card for him.

Since I had some time I decided to call the Inn myself and see what kind of rate they would give me. When I talked to the reservation girl she was in no way friendly. I was trying to explain that I was going to have surgery etc. and she just said we just have our standard rates left. It will be $167.50 plus tax of $35.00 dollars. I said I had gotten a much better rate than that on the Internet, and she just said, well that's our best rate for this next week. I then started to worry that maybe the $78.00 rate was some sort of scam or something and started to worry. I then went back to the site that I had called originally and it was a good site located in Dallas. In one hour and ten minutes my man called me and got me that rate. So the lesson here is don't always think that the best rate is directly with the hotel. Some of these sites have some great deals.

I'm felling pretty good, I swam today and also took the time to sweep the entire pool and added chemicals etc. It then started to rain so I had to get out. It's a lot nicer now than it was at 11:50. It was only about 70 then, but it feels at least 76 or 77 now. This has been one crazy summer. My blood sugar is still screwed up, I hope this surgery will allow me to get back to somewhat normal.

I'll keep you all informed.

July 28th Tuesday

This has been a very important day in the live of Thomas D. McLaughlin III and Sharon I. McLaughlin. We went to see Dr. Rushing this morning at 10:15 and left the building at 4:30.

I had to do the usual, first get my blood drawn by a lady that has vampires every where in her dungeon. She is the blood lady. She has stuck me twice before and is usually good for a one stick. Not today, she tried in my hand first and go a little blood but not enough for a sample. She then had to pull it out and try again. I had told her about all the sticks from last week and she was saying that would only happen in Fort Wayne not in Indy. Don't I wish. She did hit it the second go round so I didn't dismiss her.

I then had to go to Dr. Rushing's area and get some vitals taken etc. That was all good. He then came in about 11:15 and we had a complete exam. He said all looked well and that he needed to go get some information and would be back in a few minutes. When he came back he told us he got the MRI report but that he could not bring it up on his computer to actually look at the disk. He then told us that the chemo had done what it was going to be able to do. Part of Sarcoma were dead and parts were not. He didn't think any more chemo was going to accomplish anything because it didn't look like it had spread any where that he could feel or see. He said the best thing to do now was take it out and the sooner the better.

The next thing he did was to have his nurse call Dr Cummins, who I first saw when I came to Indy. He is the surgeon and one of three men in Indiana that does this operation. He said he could do it next Monday if that fit in my plans. Sharon said OK, let's get it done. After all this happened, Dr. Rushing sat there and talked Religion, Politics, Military Service and general conversation until 12 noon. The Good Lord had led me to the right place. He is a good Catholic, Conservative, and in favor of a Strong Military. Oh yea, he Irish.

He then had his nurse lead Sharon and me through the building to Dr. Cummings office. In about 20 minutes he came in and started to tell us about what was going to happen. He then took us into his office and showed us the images from the MRI and what he was going to have to do to take the Sarcoma out. He said this was considered a large tumor and the operation would take at least 4 hours and maybe more. I would then be in the Hospital for at least 3 days after the operation. I will have tubs in my arm for drainage and that might take more than the three or four days. Sharon will have to drain them for me. She has done that for both Ann and Debbie. It's not something she likes to do but is able to do it. "God Love Her",

He said sometimes you don't have a great deal of pain with this operation, but then again sometimes you do. It will depend on how much pain I in as to when I can go home.

Now comes the fun part: Pre Surgery Prep. That means they want all your information, that all these Dr's already have on you, once again. I had a nurse that was easily my age waddle in and try to figure out how to use the computer because the one she is used to is not like this. She, believe it or not, did not know that if the number key pad is locked that there were numbers on the top of the key board. That was scary!!!! Get ready for this one, they had down that my bump, so they called it, was on my thy. I then told her I wanted that changed before I left the building. She said she could not do that but would note it on the paper. I said that was not good enough and she needed to call the surgery scheduler and make sure they changed it. When she came back she said she left a message with the correct people. She finally asked all her questions and told us to wait and she would have the Dr. come in.

20 minutes later a female Dr. came in and asked us all kinds of questions about my history. She then did some basic medical procedures and told us what to expect at the surgery. we also told her about the mistake as to where the BUMP was located and she said: Don't worry they'll ask you where the BUMP is before surgery! She then said, besides they draw on you as to where they are going to cut etc. You can tell them then. She then said another nurse would be in to give me a EKG and draw some more blood. The lady who came in was one that had seen me earlier and taken my temp and blood pressure. She now had the EKG machine and was now a blood drawer. My first question was, can you stick the first time. OH YEA no problem, I do IV's all day long. The first stick: whoops, I blew a vein. Let me see if I can's find a good vein in your arm. She then finds what she called a good vein, one she could put an IV in no problem. She then proceeds to tell me that the reason she can find the vein is that it keeps moving. Now get this, she had the damn needle in my arm jabbing all around trying to stick the vein. I'm about to throw he out on her ear when she finally says: There it is, I knew I could find it. This SOB is going to hurt like crazy tomorrow I'm sure. My hand is already turning black and blue. I love this sh++.

The good news is I don't have to do the fourth chemo. I think I'm willing to trade a known pain in the butt for one I think will help in the long run. I'm not sure which one will have felt better by weeks end however. I got a feeling I'm going to find out.

The surgery will be at 7:30am Monday August 3rd. Sharon will have to keep all of you informed by way of the blog for that week propably. You know I'm left handed and this is in my left arm.

More later.

July 26th. Sunday

For those of you who keep score etc., No I did not write the blog yesterday. It was a good day and I did manage to get in a good swim. I did watch the tour, D, but I did not want to spoil it for you so I just didn't do a blog at all so I would not give away what happened. I'm sitting here trying to remember what all I did yesterday. The Dr. told me that my memory will be effected by the chemo and that it will take awhile for it to get normal again. I think that's what he said, I can't remember.

Before I forget, I felt well this morning and went to 7:30 mass. It was a very interesting reading and I decided to take it to heart. The Pfister family was having a family reunion today and I had said I didn't want to go because there would be people there that I'm not very found of. In the homily the priest mentioned that what ever you decided to be in your life, you should do it to the best of your ability. He then went into the different life styles you could choose. A single person could be just a good single person and be kind and loving to those who are around them. They could also be religious and service God and the community. But still be the best that you could be. He then mentioned married couples and what their responsibility's are. As you have already seen, Sharon certainly lives up to her side of the bargain. I, on the other hand, have been feeling sorry for my self, and at times, are a complete ass. Not going to the reunion was one of those times.

After church I decided to tell Sharon I would be happy to go with her. That's really a nice time to tell her since the RSVP was the 20th. and it was a catered affair. She was also going to go from Antwerp and she did not want me over there for three hours telling everyone what they were doing incorrectly. You see she has pretty much ban me from the restaurant. I must remember that she is the boss there and I'm just a customer and have no right to tell people how to do their job.

So anyway, she finally let me convenes her that I did want to go and that I was truly sorry for acting the way I did. We then decided to meet in Convoy and I would drive from there to the Reunion in Rockford.

Once we got there it was very courgal and everyone was happy to see me, and wanted to know how I was, and what was going to happen next. I was also told by a number of the family members that I was on a prayer chain of some 50 people that I didn't even know. I also had something happen that I never thought would happen. Sharon's uncle was at one time the President of Elco Tool and when Sharon and I were pretty much forced to come back to take over Elco Tool he was a SOB. He fought me in the sales department and Sharon in the Board Room. We had a terrible existence with the man and eventually had him ban from the office. He was a share holder, but was fired as President when we came back because he has said he was going to quit Elco and lock the doors.

When Sharon decided to sell Elco he went crazy. Sharon's brother did not like John either, but sided with him on not selling the business. Fortunately Sharon controled the stock and sold the business in two weeks and at the full asking price. They were still upset when they received the pay out.

Well today the story some how changed. John actually came up to us and said how great it was that we, That means him also, so Elco when we did. We then hear from her brothers wife and she agrees that it was the smartest thing they, meaning of course her husband, could have done was to sell the business when they did.

What this all means to Sharon and me is the fact that she made the right decision and she did the best that she could do and the family finally acknowledged it if they had to take the credit themselves.

The other part of the story is the fact that we have not talked to John or any member of his family since the sale of Elco. Fortunately they were all there today and we were able to once again talk. John was actually nice to both of us and his wife Pat, who I knew before he did, was very happy to see both of us and said she missed us very much but understood the reasons why we didn't talk. She has always been a friend of mine and a saint to live with John. She goes to church daily and I'm sure I know why. I also know she prays for me.

I'm so happy for this day, I never thought it would happen. I started talking again to Sharon's brother and sister-in-law since the cancer also. Maybe the God Lord does have a plan we just don't understand.

Dr. Rushing appointment Tuesday, we might find out when I go under the knife. I'll keep you informed.
Tom